but you can't see them and they prob won't look at this so...
This morning in the kitchen Jeni leans against the door frame. The sun pours into the room through the net curtains and I see her through the dust motes that are caught by the rays. She is very lean, her face angular and striking. She wears a cropped top and black denim jeans. She is watching me - her face a mix of emotions. Then she tuts, shakes her long, unruly hair and goes to get something from the cupboard.
I shift around, irritable. She has tied my legs to the chair. My hands are placed in mittens and my arms tied with the elbows crooked but otherwise free. I have a large dummy in my mouth. If I really wanted to I could ease it through my teeth with my tongue and spit it out. For the moment I chew.
Jeni comes in with a bowl of something and sits next to me. She gives it an unnecessary stir. I know it's Provamel chocolate-flavoured soya dessert. We bought it yesterday.
She licks her lips as she reaches up and teases the dummy from my mouth. I suck her finger. I love my mummy. I am not relaxed though. I never know what she'll do. I don't know if I'll be able to eat.
She scoops up a heaped spoonful of the dessert and presents it to my now resolutely closed lips. It tastes bearable but not nice, a chocolate fix for desperate vegans. I move my face away. The spoon follows.
“Come on, babe!” says Jeni’s rich voice. I meet her gaze. She looks utterly ruthless; she’ll hold my nose if I don’t give in. I part my lips a fraction and she forces in the brown glop. In defiance I let a substantial amount dribble onto my chin. She laughs. Now I have to leave it there – mummy won’t clean it away.
I resign myself to the fact that I’ll have to eat the rest of it now or I’ll have a messy chin all day. Jeni brings me spoonfuls in quick succession now. I’ve hardly time to swallow what is in my mouth before she is there with the next. I’m afraid I won’t be able to breathe, I might choke. The last spoonful is huge and she makes me take it. Her hand firmly over my mouth tilting back my head makes sure that it’s not going anywhere but down my throat. I twitch about in my seat but eventually I have to give in and swallow the lot.
No rest for my mouth. In with the bottle. Water, thank God! She holds it to let me drink.
We both take a minute to pause.
Jeni unties my legs and helps me down to the floor. We haven’t got as far as buying adult-sized baby clothes and I am naked. As I struggle along on my elbows and knees I’m aware that she can see all my wobbling flesh. At least her carpets are soft.
In the living room I pretend to stumble and let out a cry. I roll over onto my back.
Soon Jeni is towering over me. She ignores my cries and drenches me with a wet flannel to mop up the chocolate.
“Good girl, all clean now” she coos.
I crawl over tot the TV, which is showing a cartoon. She ‘s watching me – I must remember I’m too young to appreciate the jokes so I stare at the screen with my mouth open.
I have just perfected infantile bewilderment when the screen goes blank.
“That’s enough!” comes her voice behind me. “Get up off the floor.” I struggle to my feet. My awkwardly tied arms are aching and I don’t want to use them to help me get up.
“Get over here!”
My ears are ringing and my legs unsteady. She’s sitting on the sofa, putting the TV remote control gently back on the coffee table. I stand in front of her.
I shift my feet a little way apart, hoping I can keep my balance. Jeni stands for a moment and positions my arms so that my elbows stick out to either side. It hurts. I raise them a fraction higher so it hurts more.
She smiles, “You were a very good baby today. Now you have to be a brave, grown up girl and get fucked, OK?” She puts on a glove.
“No noise, the window is open,” she warns.
I wondered why it was so cold in here. I couldn’t tell from down on the floor.
I gasp as she feeds a handful of cold KY into my hungry cunt and urges it in further up with her knuckles. This is my reward, if I can take it.
Jeni’s bony fingers slide up my hole, her thumb encircles my clit. She thrusts her jabbing fingers in and out very quickly. I can’t come. I’ll fall over!
“Please let me lie down, Jeni,” I beg in between pants. She withdraws and slaps my arm below the shoulder in disapproval. “No, on all fours,” she decides.
I let myself tumble to the floor and struggle onto my knees and elbows again. She is squeezing more KY onto the glove.
I manoeuvre my knees apart again and wait for her to carry on. This time she presses some KY to my anus also and works it in with one finger. With each thrust of her arm my clit jumps, I moan – who cares about the neighbours hearing? Her arm pumps faster again. My head down now against the carpet, I can feel a tightening in my belly. She grabs at my hair to pull back my head.
I’m coming. I’m screaming. And now I am crying, wailing out loud with tears streaming down my face. She rushes to untie my arms and to hold me close. I find myself sobbing on to her chest as she rocks me. Just like mummy and baby.