However, if I dig around in the home directory a moment ...
"May I introduce you to two good friends of mine?" comes a voice above my head.
A husky female voice. "We've heard so much about you." Patronising yet sweet of her to say so. "Haven't we, Hugo?"
Her manicured hand invades me field of vision. I am drawn out of semi- slumber and remember where I am. Respectable little cocktail party at respectable friends' house where I, guilty of not socialising, have apparently just been pounced upon by the couple from hell. I shake her hand politely and look up.
My friend, Ramon, keeps his fixed grin as he tells me that Saskia used to study at the college where I work. Hugo turns out to be a milkman who collects guns, but this passes without comment.
I don't shake Hugo's hand since he doesn't offer it, and to tell the truth I'm rather pleased.
"Refill, anyone?" smiles Ramon, the glee in his eyes unmistakable as he backs away.
"No, no, we're quite all right, aren't we, Hugo dear?" says the sultry Saskia, and Ramon is gone.
They sit with me for quite some time. I do not bother to listen to what they say, but they begin to entrance me nevertheless. The way they move, the way they speak, or in Hugo's case the way he is mostly silent, their appearance, all seem fascinating to me. Perhaps it's lust. It must be lust, for there is very little that is likeable about either of them.
Saskia is tall, a little taller than her partner, and she dresses elegantly. Crimson silk accentuates her golden brown skin. Some combination of parentage has given her spiral hair and this is long and abundant. She is not pretty; rather she is noble and handsome. Good thing that she is not voluptuous, for this would not suit her sculpted face. Perhaps Hugo likes small tits. And presumably he is accustomed to her non-stop talking, since he does not tell her to shut up. "She is the one with the money," I can hear Ramon saying in my head.
Hugo is short, perhaps only in comparison with Saskia, but I sense he wishes he were taller. He has one of those blonde little angel faces which is probably attractive at all angles, not just staring into the distance.
I imagine Hugo has broken many hearts, his mum's first, then a string of them. I catch the comment from Saskia that they both go to the gym regularly. It does not show on Hugo; the indeterminate mass under his fisherman's jumper could be muscle or fat. I imagine Saskia crawling lithely over him, licking him with a darting little tongue while he looks away at his gun collection and wishes he were out shooting something.
Oh, Hugo, so many women must have wished that could break your trance and have you look upon them enraptured. They think so highly of you and seek untold depths in your cool grey eyes. But, Hugo, Saskia has looked deep into your eyes and seen that the goldfish swimming round in them are bored. She's no fool. She just doesn't give a shit, so count yourself lucky, honey.
Saskia's gown has slipped and her bare leg is showing. I keep looking down and wanting to part her thighs and go down on her. I wonder what she tastes like. Hugo knows. I hope she makes him.
I yawn. Why are they still sitting here? I begin to listen in on Saskia's drawl to search for clues. The conversation, in my absence of paying any attention, has got around to sex... sort of. Nice little suburban topic to avoid at parties, unless you are Saskia.
"Ramon tells me all sorts of things about what you and your pals get up to. Of course, we're very broad-minded, aren't we, Hugo?"
"Mmm." (Is he still awake, then?)
"Really?" I say. "I hope Ramon hasn't been bragging again. What about you two?"
"Us?" she asks. "Oh...." (Have I silenced her?) "Well," (no) "We would actually... uh... like to get involved with some of your things...." She trails off in a whisper, almost nervous, "and that's why we asked Ramon to introduce us to you."
I stand up, suddenly awake and very, very interested.
"This sort of conversation," I announce, "is better off conducted in the garden."
Now, Hugo must be in on this, because he follows me as I walk out of the back door and he seems slightly less dopey.
Saskia skips eagerly ahead, horny as hell. She shuts the kitchen door with a delicate pull and taps the handle conspiratorially.
We sit at a table in the garden and I am in my element. So wakey wakey Hugo, calm down Saskia.
"What were you thinking of, Hugo?" I ask him. He meets my eye for what is probably the first time and his speech is slow.
"I want to watch her go with you." This is the zenith of Hugo's sexual desire -- a voyeur on a lesbian scene. I guess he got the idea from Penthouse or Razzle. "Do you fancy her?" she asks.
"Well, Hugo," I say as Saskia giggles and glows in expectation, "your girlfriend is very attractive but there may be something I want from you too."
"Yeah, I want to join in," he says, as if this were obvious and I a fool.
"But Hugo, there's more to it than that. I'll do what you want, but you may have to do what I want first." Saskia looks puzzled and now they are both speechless. "Come closer and I'll whisper."
Two eager heads lean towards me. I corrupt their ears irrevocably. From this moment they are changed forever. Good luck to them, brave pioneers.
Hugo has found his voice. "No! No, no, no, no, no! Yuck!" A moment's thought. "Why?"
Saskia's gaze is steady and strong. Hugo has stormed off down the lawn alone. "I'll talk him round," she says.
"Then you have no problem with my little suggestion?"
"It's marvellous," she whispers. "Can I tell him it will be in private and no-one will know?"
"Yes, and tell him that it will be tonight or never. Don't give him time to back out of it."
She is gone. I recline and consider details. If Saskia persuades Hugo, can I allow Ramon to be involved? Where will we do it? How long to we have?
On their return Saskia is smiling and Hugo looks anywhere but at me. I've got the bastard now.
Ramon agrees to his part and he leads a petrified Hugo away behind a closed door. You may wish to imagine what they are to do once you have read on and know the consequences. But I am left with Saskia who comes to another room with me.
Once we are behind the door I face her and look into her eyes. "I won't call you by your name now, because you are going to be someone else -- understand?"
She nods and is silent.
"Take off all your clothes and we'll start again."
She hurriedly undoes her dress and it falls with a rustle and whisper to her feet. Beneath it she is naked, which saves us time. She hands over her watch, her bracelet and earrings, looks into the mirror to on dresser to wipe off her makeup. I stand behind her. She is looking intently at her reflection.
I take her hands and remove her rings. I take scissors and cut off her long fingernails. She does not reprimand me. She is doing most of the work herself, not smiling, only staring. I've underestimated her.
I sweep back her locks into a ponytail and comb back her fringe. It is her idea to take a few snips and glue the hairs to her face by way of stubble. I let her, although I doubt it will look authentic. Clever Saskia.
Next I put her in a white shirt and leather waistcoat. Across her hips I tie a harness and through this and into her hands I place a dildo. It's fairly lifelike, almost the right colour. She strokes it as if she is wanking. Clever, clever Saskia. Her thin lips manage a snarl in the mirror.
The leather jeans are a little loose on her, but they have to be to accommodate her new cock. Finally we find boots with spurs and a chain under the instep for her feet.
She knows just how to walk, how to talk. She does not giggle or fall around. I am proud of what we have created -- a male Saskia. Cut off her hair and she would almost pass.
We wait outside Ramon's room, part of the deal being that Hugo is not seen. I knock a secret knock.
"Two minutes," calls Ramon. I whisper to Saskia. "Where's my whore?" she yells through the door, resistant and petulant like a Latino lover. "Let me have my whore!"
The door opens and we are ushered inside. A stout figure has its back to us, studying the closed curtain. Ramon gives a flourish.
"Monsieur's whore is feeling a little reluctant today. Stage fright, I suppose."
Saskia sneers menacingly. "Get here, slut!" Her power forces Ramon and myself into the background. We hang at the edge of the fray, reduced to spectatorship.
Slowly the woman who was once Hugo turns, I gasp because he is beautiful; a little over-made-up by Ramon, who is used to making up his own dark features, but gorgeous anyway. Hugo's hair is brushed in a vaguely feminine way and he wears a white dress that reaches his ankles.
Impatient, Saskia reaches to curl her hand round Hugo's waist and throws him onto the bed. He is trembling.
"What's the matter with you, girl?" croons Saskia. "Don't you want me to fuck you?"
"What do I say?" pleads Hugo. Ramon smiles darkly. "Say 'Yes, sir' to your master."
Hugo closes his eyes. "Yes, sir."
They need help with the logistics of this. Ramon and I pile up some pillows and we get Hugo across them to be fucked. He is close to tears with fear but he knows it must be done.
Saskia lifts his dress. She turns to me. "Look at this whore's little arse. I'm going to let my good friends slap it a little to show my appreciation for my help."
"Please, sir, no, sir," pants Hugo, his erection digging a hole in the mattress.
"No? Really?" says Saskia. "What a shame." "I mean, sorry, sir, yes, sir." Hugo, blind with tears, realises it is this now or never.
"Good." Ramon takes him first, his powerful hand crashing down onto Hugo's taut buttocks. Hugo bites his lip. Ramon passes over to me; I brace myself then give each of Hugo's buttocks fifteen slaps in succession, building to a crescendo of speed and pain. Then Saskia is on top of him before he's recovered.
We ease some lube into his little hole and spread more onto Saskia's cock. We hold her hips and his buttocks apart as we guide her in. She says it feels cool inside, then laughs because it's not part of her at all.
Ramon is watching Hugo; he seems to be okay. Go harder, Saskia, fuck the hell out of him. I'd say it but she doesn't need telling. She rams in her cock and Hugo squeezes the sheets and gasps. He likes it. There's another convert.
Ramon slips out of his clothes, watched by Hugo whose head is on one side. "Will you permit your whore to suck me?" asks Ramon.
Saskia bids him be her guest and Ramon climbs up on the bed, spreads his legs round Hugo. I help get Ramon's cock into Hugo's mouth. "Suck, slut!" orders Saskia. Her thrusts force Hugo's head onto Ramon's cock helpfully and Ramon moans.
"Use your tongue," I say, feeling a little redundant. The three of them move in perfect synchronicity. I sit cross-legged, waiting to see who'll orgasm first. But Saskia has taken control and she has other ideas.
She withdraws and holds them both still to whisper. Now she is changing the condom on her cock. "What's happening?" I ask. "Why have you stopped?" It occurs to me that they somehow want me to be involved and I try to back away.
No time. Ramon and Hugo are laughing, bonded by what they have just done. They dive to hold my arms and pin me down, each holding an arm and a leg. Saskia crawls towards me and takes down my pants. She runs a finger over my clit and I squirm. "This isn't what we agreed. No-one fucks me! Fuck off!" I'm yelling.
"No-one will see, no-one will know," whispers Hugo, using my own words against me.
I want to escape. I want to kill them all with one of Hugo's crappy guns. I don't have feelings, none that anyone's allowed to see anyway. They can't!
"Say 'Yes, sir'," says that Judas, Ramon. I try to kick him.
Hugo slaps me round the face; Ramon pinches my breast. I'm going to murder them all when I get free.
Saskia thrusts her cock into my cunt and holds it in deep.. My whole body shudders with the intensity of the feeling. It's been a long, long time.
She screws me, though I thrash and swear and yell. A tight sensation builds and builds inside me. I arch my head back. Fucking hell, I'm coming! I scream in orgasm and slump in shattered tears.
Well, Hugo, you got to see it in the end.